My Life Story 3

          We grew up in a pretty big house. There were six of us and my Mom. Oldest to youngest was my brother Coung, brother Erik, sister Lisa, brother Willie, brother Michale and then me. Everyone had their rooms, but I shared a room with my Mom until middle school. When she was gone, I used to rummage through her random things and read through stacks of National Geographics. I was addicted to them.

          After my Daddy died, my Mom became a hoarder. She would buy all kinds of random things from places like Goodwill and she loved yard sales. The house began to fill up with stuff and pretty soon we had constant visits from the children services. They wanted to take us away because the house was full of stuff and they said we needed to clean it up. I can’t remember a time when our house wasn’t full of roaches. We would try to bomb the house with Raid, but although it killed thousands of them, they seemed to come back stronger and with friends.

          My Mom used to go out drinking all the time when she got a chance to. Sometimes, she would take me and Michale along. We would go to Buford Highway where most of the asian and hispanic community flocked to near Atlanta and we would go to various Vietnamese restaurants where my mom seemed to know everybody. She would get drunk with friends and sing karaoke and Michale and I would roam around inside or outside trying to find things to do. Sometimes, we would take turns locking each other in the trunk of my Mom’s car and practice breaking out. We really thought this might be useful someday, in case someone tried to kidnap us or something. We were pretty good at it.

          Some of my Mom’s friends would give us money and we would walk to the nearby stores to buy candy and toys. The best place was this asian market with aisles full of random candies with packages we couldn’t read. We would buy a bunch and come back to the restaurant or sit outside and try them out. Once, Michale and I spotted a possum crawling on a chainlink fence. We devised a plan to capture it and make it our pet. So, one of us got a cardboard box and quickly covered the animal on the fence and the other kicked the fence on the other side so that the possum fell into the box and we closed it up! We put the box in my Mom’s car and on the way home asked her if we could keep it. She said sure, but when we got home, we let it out on the back porch and it climbed away and we never saw it again.

 

(To Be Continued…)

 

Image

 

Michale and I in the backyard of our old house in Riverdale.

Advertisements

My Life Story 2

          Shortly after my Daddy died, I had two of the worst nightmares that I have ever had in my life. Still to this day.

          In one of them, My cousin and one of my brothers had locked me in a basement. I was banging on the door and yelling for them to let me out and they were laughing and being amused and saying muffled things to me through the door. I was at the top of some wooden stairs and felt like there was something down at the bottom in the darkness behind me. I turned around and saw that there was a metal circular trash can with a green glow coming out of it. I watched as green glowing bones inside began to float and assemble themselves together and my Daddy was calling me from inside. I pounded at the door again but there was nothing. All of a sudden I turned around and couldn’t stop myself from walking down the steps towards the trash can at the bottom where the skeleton of my Daddy had formed and was growing meat. He was still calling for me as my body was walking toward him and I can’t remember the rest.

          The next day, I had another nightmare. In this one, I was running in the tall brick skyscraper from before and away from someone’s shadow chasing me. I ran into this room that was completely empty of everything except all of the walls and floor were soaked, doused and covered in blood and I could hear a lot of ticking in the next room. I slowly walked into the next room and it was spotless and the walls were eggshell white and there was a long row of clocks lining the wall. I stared in horror as each clock had the mounted head of each one of my family members on them and they were staring at me with their mouths wide open. The shadowed figure came into the room and that was either the end of the dream or I don’t remember the rest.

          I was very tired at school that week and I remember one of the other students, a blonde girl with blue eyes, told me not to worry and that the dreams would stop. I didn’t know this girl, never met her, and didn’t tell anyone about my dreams. So, I thought that was weird, but she was right. The nightmares stopped. I wanted to talk to her again and ask her how she knew I was having nightmares but she wasn’t in my class anymore. My teacher told me that she’d been in the wrong class.

          When my Daddy was alive, him and my Mom would alternate on going to work and taking care of us kids. After he passed away, she had to work all the time at the gas station and sometimes she would take one or two of us with her. It was boring being there, but my brother and I would find things to do. I used to daydream about robbers coming into the store that late at night and trying to rob my mom as I snuck up and saved the day somehow. I remember once, my mom went to the bathroom and I locked the door and waited for her. A police officer tried to come in and began to knock when he saw me. I stared at him and didn’t move. My mom came out and unlocked it for him and apologized, but he told her that it was smart that I didn’t let him in. When we got tired, we would just go sleep in her car until she was done. My Mom was always so tired from working third shift at the gas station, that she was always nodding off on the way driving home. Sometimes, I was thankful that we were with her because we could wake her up and make sure she didn’t wreck the car. This made me very nervous to think about when I didn’t go to work with her, though, and sometimes I used to pray to whatever God there was that she wouldn’t die while she was gone from the house. I would pray really hard and cry until I fell asleep on her bed.

 

(To Be Continued…)

Image

 

My Mommy & I on my birthday.

My Life Story

 

          I was born at Southern Regional Hospital in Riverdale, Georgia in 1986. My Mom was 34 and my Daddy was 54 at the time. I was born with one sister and four brothers and I was the last of the litter. 
My Daddy was in the United States Army and had played a role in both the Korean and the Vietnam wars. He fell in love with my mom in Vietnam and brought her and her family back here to the US to escape the chaos and live happily. My dad’s side of the family did not approve of his new gook wife and their little mutt children, so we really didn’t know them.

          I mostly remember watching Tales From the Crypt on top of my daddy’s beer belly in the dark and he would ask me to grab him a beer from the fridge in the kitchen. As soon as I would step down off of the couch he would warn me about the alligators underneath and I would promptly hop back onto the couch. He would chuckle at me and go get his own beer and sometimes a V8.

          When I was five years old, my daddy died of prostate cancer. I remember holding his hand in the hospital at some point and I remember the funeral. It was in some tidy funeral home with nice chairs and I remember it being hot because everyone had paper hand fans that they were waving. I wasn’t sure what we were doing there at first. The whole thing seemed very strange to me and I didn’t understand why my daddy was sleeping in an elaborate box in the middle of everything and people were crying all around the place. The weirdness of the situation made me feel uncomfortable and I had surmised that this would be the last time I saw my Daddy and he was never coming back. At this point, I cried myself to sleep in one of the armchairs and don’t remember much of the rest of the funeral.

          Even though I only had a few years with my Daddy, I do have a few memories. I remember once that he’d put hot sauce on my thumb to try and get me to stop sucking on it. I went to the bathroom and washed it off. I remember sitting at a lunch table being good but bored while waiting for him to enroll me in school at James H. Brown Elementary. I remember being spanked with a ping pong paddle a few times when I was bad. I remember having a nightmare that a shadowed figure was chasing after me in a skyscraper and I ran out on the roof and jumped off the building. I was falling and falling to the Earth and yelling for my Daddy the whole time until he actually woke me up. And lastly, I remember being in this old house on our farm in Senoia, and I discovered some old stacks of dusty books in one of the dark abandoned rooms. I went to have a closer look at them and apparently I was bitten by a poisonous spider because the next thing I knew, I was in the main room and my Daddy had made a cut at the wound and was sucking the poison out from my belly. I still have a thin long scar there that reminds me of it.

          After my Daddy died, I became immediately depressed. I used to lay my head down in class and cry until my entire desk was wet. I assume this is why I ended up at the counselor’s office almost every day and don’t remember really being in class much. My counselor had a wall full of shelves and cubbies with every kind of toy and board game you could imagine in them. We would play Candyland or something while we talked or if she was busy she would let me sit at a desk outside of her office and draw. I guess the cafeteria ladies felt bad for us and our family because every holiday, they would invite us back into the kitchen and give us large baskets of gifts and we would take them back to our tables and the other kids would ask why we got them. I usually told them that I didn’t know or that the lunch ladies said they came from the Easter bunny or Santa.

(To Be Continued…)

Image

 

I’m the monkey on my sister’s back. 🙂

~Kimlee

CRAZY DREAM!

In this dream Occupy Atlanta was planning an event and we went out into this field to get everything ready. It was strange because it was more like we went out there to do landscaping.
The next day we all were to meet back in the same field and be ready for something.
A faceoff with the police was expected and when I began walking up, I noticed lots of police vehicles hidden in bushes with their lights flashing. I was running towards the center of everything while trying to dig my camera out. I was passing people and hearing conversations of all kinds and getting nervous that I couldn’t find my camera. (I no longer feel comfortable without it at protests…)
I got to the middle of the area and saw something fly over the building in front of me.
It was right overhead in front of my now and I looked up in time to realize that it was a drone!!
It shot something out at the ground in front of me and I tried to run!
It was some sort of egg shaped silver metallic projectile bigger than my fist and when it hit the ground, it inflated as a red balloon and bounced back up with more force and came straight towards me as a massive metal projectile again.
I tried to run and dodge but it hit me pretty hard on the left side of my skull.
At that point I just ran for it.

I kept running as far as I could away from where the drone was and it was shooting the strange ballooning and bouncing projectiles all over the field now with people scattering.
I ran around to the side of a building to where two of my occupy friends were and heard them betting that the police wouldn’t come around these sides through the chaos. There was a short wooden fence around this building and I looked up and saw the same drone had followed me there and it came down and tranformed into a massive Hawk. It was on the other side of the small wooden fence between us but the Hawk was a good bit taller than me and staring me down.
I tried to inch away and wouldn’t look at it directly while I was trying to tweet or text for help to someone. I didn’t know how to work the phone in my hands, though since it was my old Blackjack that I haven’t used in a long time.
As I was inching to the right, the huge bird kept inching with me on the other side of the fence and trying to get me to acknowledge it’s presence. It was still staring me down intimidatingly and it got so close that I almost couldn’t keep my head down pretending not to notice.
At that point the hawk reached its wing through the fence and pushed on my belly on the left side and at that same exact moment, Eeo pushed on my belly really hard in that spot!
So I immediately woke up.
It was so weird. It felt like the Hawk/Drone thing was threatening me.
And what was inside of my belly.

What a weird and terrible way to wake up…

 

Image

 

 

Then I immediately found out that my favorite kitty had passed away. And saw this on Facebook.

>.<! Today sucks!

 

~Kimlee

…and I’m calm as fuck…

 

^_^!

 

It’s been quite difficult to write recently. 

My mind is consumed with a plethora of thoughts, worries and concerns and I sincerely doubt that things will be letting up in there very soon.

 

I’ve been musing over plans for the next three months realizing, impatiently, that this is just a test of my patience. Which I do not find to be amusing.

 

I’m used to doing so much more and being so active and exploring the world and… and..

not used to being confined to my room for hours, days, and weeks.

Trapped inside of my head.

 

I’ve been excited to get my writing started and share all of the wonderful Occupy adventures I’ve been through this year, but I guess I still haven’t found my land legs. That anxious desire to answer the call in the streets and shove my fist high into the air while adding my voice to the power of the people all around me marching, laughing, singing and beating wild drums…

 

And now I sit.

Enclosed in the walls of a house.

Staring at a bright screen that connects me to the rest of the world.

And I drink my tea.

Hoping that others will fill my role in the movement.

Ensuring that a future will be left around by the time Eeo comes into the world.

And I am no longer pregnant.

 

I ponder over the various roles I’ve assumed in the last year.

Taking pictures, making videos, sharing information, creating events, occupying public spaces, making signs, making art, writing poems, marching in the streets, spending hours lobbying in the state capitol, making music, meeting people and introducing people to each other for better connections and an overall connectedness. Etc…

 

Now, my role has come down to this growing belly and what occupies beneath. ^_~!

 

If you don’t know much about me, then you won’t know that I am a perfectionist whenever it comes to certain things in my life that I deem severely important.

Following Buddhism as a way of living and thinking and having immersed myself in the Tao, I don’t usually plans things too far in advance. I flow with the way of the Universe and read signs and think in infinite possibilities. 

 

But having a little baby…

Nurturing a new soul…

Raising the next generation…

 

That is a role that needs a more delicate tending to and I will not settle with mere chance.

 

So my brain has been overworked lately. Trying to make plans for plans on top of plans.

And where have I gotten to?

Square one.

Here.

At my computer screen. 

 

I’m so overwhelmed with all of the things that I could be doing right now that I don’t even know where to begin. All the paintings I could paint. All the songs I could manifest. All of the stories I could write about. All the ways I could get to all the places I could be.

 

That’s only half of the problem.

 

The rest are mostly personal. Like stress that spills over from other sources and into my cup. I must immediately begin to make this blog one of my outlets. Or else I may go mad.

From now on I may spill my soul into this, like word vomit.

It has to be done.

 

It will definitely keep me from filling up everyone that I know’s inboxes with complete nonsense. xD

 

Maybe eventually I will begin to get sleepy again.

But for now…

it’s time to make three cups into four…

 

Image

 

❤ Kimlee

 

 

 

 

 

Sen. Fort Issues Statement Regarding Occupy Atlanta Protesters

 
ATLANTA (October 12, 2012) – Sen. Vincent Fort has issued the following statement:
 
“After this morning’s hearing, it is apparent the city of Atlanta has not learned its lesson from the Atlanta Eagle and Katherine Johnson cases involving evidence destruction. The Atlanta Police Department had numerous cameras and recording devices present on October 25th and 26th, leading me to believe it would be impossible for all of the evidence to be destroyed or unavailable. A motion was filed today to dismiss this case based on APD’s destruction of evidence and refusal to comply with requests from our legal representation.
 
The public must ask themselves a question: Whose conduct is more egregious? The APD’s destruction of evidence or the peaceful protesters who were exercising their First Amendment right?”
 
A final Motion/Evidence hearing will take place on November 16, 2012. The trial is scheduled from December 17 – 21, 2012.
 
# # # #
 
Sen. Vincent Fort is the Senate Minority Whip and represents the 39th Senate District which includes Fulton County. He may be reached by phone at 404.656.5091,404.287.7116 or by email at vincent.fort@senate.ga.gov.
 
Image

Gestating and Contemplating.

I feel like I’m the one floating in amniotic fluid

waiting for the day when I am ready to be released into the world.

I may as well use this moment of confinement to my advantage.

 

Study, study, study.

Write, write, write.

Create, create, create.

Prepare, prepare, prepare.

 

I feel content.

 

I’m surrounded by things to finish and work on.

I’m already spending time with Eeo, reading poetry

and listening to things like Mozart, Chopin, and Bach together. 

😀

 

I’ve been really excited to meet the little one face to face 

and I try not to get anxious about it.

So far, we’re reading through a poetry book by Robert Frost. :]

 

Other than all of that, it’s been a pretty calm time.

Just trying to pack up all of my things and go through it all

so I’ll be ready to move to Illinois.

 

It’s extremely weird and dull not doing Occupy stuff…

but it’s definitely interesting to be going civilian for a while.

 

Sometimes,

You just have to have some of your adventures in the Matrix, too.

 

I am going to begin writing various Occupy stories about my adventures soon.

Most likely out of order, but as I feel like it. Haha!

 

Peace.

 

Image