So Much To Say…

Sometimes, I feel like I have so much to say, but no one to say it all to.

I used to just escape completely into my blog or just paint everything into a language of artistic creativity on a canvas. Lately, though, I’ve become aware of the audience that may see and feel what I have to say. 

Not that I care about what people think, so much as the exposure of my own thoughts and musings. 

I need the outlet, though.

Everything just collects inside of me and becomes a garbage heap of chaotic thinking for dull days. 

Along with the worry of exposure, comes the denial of honest feelings.

I long to express my desires and feelings, but remain too stubborn to admit them to the world. As if by keeping quiet, I can pretend to be less human and more of an observant ghost among many other ethereal beings in this “reality” we all cling to.

 

How hard it is to contain these invisible, impeccable meanderings and pretend that I don’t have them or that they merely don’t exist!

 

Is it a form of cowardice to contain oneself like so?

 

Does it dilute the magic of existing in such a beautiful realm to imprison the ambiance of the soul?

 

I do believe it may ring true that some of us become hard and calloused when dealing consistently with the trials and tribulations imparted on us by others, while others become soft and compassionate through and through.

I hate to wear this as some form of excuse, but my attire may be full of reciprocal conditioning. Admittedly.

 

Once again, I talk in poems and dress my words in bows and riddles making the most of sense while making no sense at all in hopes to divert the attention to the next paragraph and onward.

 

Impending doom exposure in 3…

2…

1…

 

I could never express to the world what it truly feels like to have someone that I enjoy discussing anything, nothing and everything with.

 

Across a vast distance, a voice through a speaker fills me with joy and remarkable feelings that I dare not share with you.

 

In a sea of thoughts throughout the day, I choose to drown in carefully hand selected ones that involve the attendance of you.

 

I no longer think that it is unfortunate that life has set up these circumstances and found interesting ways to keep things seemingly difficult when it comes to you.

 

I’ve really just become extremely grateful for any amount the experience that I can get of you.

 

I understand completely that happiness come from within, 

but I must admit that you have become a wonderful creator 

invoking happiness, joy, and elated feelings 

with barely any effort at all.

 

All I can do is reciprocate 

and thank you. 

 

{End of exposure}

 

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