Anger, the Energy For Change

Text from a best friend:{How are things goin?}

My response:{After careful consideration and I let go of the initial anger of being lied to, I let it all go and gave in to the things that I can’t control and took this change of plans for what it was worth. I used it to my advantage by making a clear and concise plan of actions for the next week and daydreamed while also reading a few books and preparing myself for a new yoga regimen. I also realized my vocation and gained an immense amount of insight. 😀 see you soon.}

My friend, Doug, was checking in on me after I had a few plans change and spent a few hours incredibly angry and frustrated that I couldn’t return home as soon as I’d hoped to begin taking care of all these thing I felt piling up on me.

I haven’t done yoga since I got back from Illinois and it’s been remarkable how different I feel. It’s good to see the difference and compare the way I feel and operate. I’m going to begin again this week and start writing a log each day detailing the changes and feelings I go through with my new yoga regimen. I plan to do it every day from now on until the day I die. 😀 I love it that much. I even got a nice green yoga mat!

I’ve been reading a few books recently that keep me in a constant state of curiosity and enlightenment. I’ve been learning so much about my self and realizing what a stranger I’ve been to me.

If you’ve ever had one of those intense moments of insight seemingly from nowhere, I had one today! It hit me like a duh moment and I realized my vocation. I went to college and began a double major in Art and Anthropology in order to learn about the world and society as well as humanity and why we became what we are and how we got to this point in order to find a way or ways to change everything for the better.

After a long adventurous life of occupying and traveling, then being pregnant and having a little girl, I started to become more aware of the world and the world beyond the world that we think we see. I’ve realized just how subjective life really is and how much we as humans tend to label everything as an instinct. I’m sure it helps when we make mental notes like, “hey, that thing is a wasp and they have been known to sting the shit out of people.” so anything like a wasp fits into a category and branches of knowledge and information stems off of this notion. So, we’ve come this far in our evolution. Where do you find yourself? Feeling miserable? Unable to decide what to do next? Did you forget something along the way? Remember the beauty of the world when you didn’t know as much? The wonder of it all? I see it all again. When I watch my little baby discover the world, I vicariously see the world through her eyes and everything is new to me again. The labels almost vanish and I find myself in a state of amazement and intrigue. 🙂

I think we got lost along the way. We definitely went out of our way, over-reaching and forgot to turn back and pause for a moment to remember what it was all for. I mean civilization.

Think about it.

We got tired of being hunter-gatherers, nomads and wanderers… so we decided to hunker down next to a body of water and sow seeds and collect them over and over again. Agriculture was born and we were happy to set our roots down. We went through a lot and grew in number and began to fight each other as resources became a commodity.

The industrial revolution came about and we decided to get lazy and let machines do all the strenuous work. Work that once fulfilled us and gave us purpose, maybe.

Then, as we grew jobs were outsourced for cheaper and cheaper labor and we found more and more time on our hands, but less of a fulfilling purpose. Replaced by technology and outsourcing, we felt guilty for all of the idle time we found ourselves with and struggle to find any meaning whatsoever in cookie cutter corporate jobs that benefit an economy that we are told is important. So important, in fact, that we can’t waste time with any new innovative technologies that may be safer for the conditions we’ve imposed on our only planet.

We’ve lost so much.

Somewhere along the way we kept reaching and reaching until we began to create problems so maybe we might have something to fix and do.

We got bored and lost some of the skills that we’d learned along the way.

How many seeds do you save when you eat fruit?

How much fruit do you eat?

How much seedless fruit do you eat?

Isn’t it strange to throw good compost in the trash?

Isn’t it strange that we still have trash in this day and age?

Remember when it was safe to drink the tap water?

How often do you drink bottled water instead?

Do you see?

We take the resources and free sources and ruin them to make a profit. Because the economy is important.

How silly?

If you want people to buy water out of a bottle, give them a reason to.

If you want people to buy seeds or food instead of harvesting their own, give them a reason to.

If you want people to buy weapons, start a war. Hell, why not three, or more?

It’s good for the economy.

You see…

We began to create paradise and got bored with all the time we found on our hands.

I study the world Anthropologically every moment that I am alive and breathing.

It will always be in my blood to be aware and question existence.

So, I’ve decided to get rid of my double major in college.

I will always be an Anthropologist at heart.

But to make a real change, you have to inspire others to think and to see with their own will to. Just like inception.

I’m going to keep my major in Art and I’ve decided that it’s not enough just to do and make art. Art is what changes the world.

Something seen can never be unseen.

I’m going to begin the path of becoming an Art teacher. 😀

I want to inspire others to use their talents and dreams to build a vision and create their own worlds. I know I’ve had my share of amazing teachers in my life that have set me on a new course of inspirational thinking and living. I’d like to do the same, if possible, and learn from them as well.

So, there you have it.

I’ve found my niche’, purpose and goal.

I know it won’t be tomorrow, but that’s the beauty of life’s revelations and journeys.

This is going to be fun!

Peace, Love, & Namaste’




2 thoughts on “Anger, the Energy For Change

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