Today’s Lessons.

Well,

Let me just say that sometimes your curiosity leads you to venture into places where you do things that you don’t necessarily regret, but you learn that you don’t particularly like them. It is not a bad thing to try green eggs and ham and decide that they are not for you. In fact, It is good that you gave them a chance and discovered more about yourself in the process. This is the best way that we grow as a person. Trial and error.

I’m sure you could think back to at least one instance of this in your life.

Something that you only learn after the fact and you know it will stick with you for the rest of your life. 😉

I tried not to get myself in a funk about it too much and attempted to maintain my thoughts and keep them in a positive cycle. Morning yoga cleared my slate before the day unfolded into a tiny bit of chaos.

My next lesson of the day came in three waves.

I was in the middle of a few stressed people and continued to think to myself that I needed to find a way to avoid people when they are like that or hide or escape…

I ran off when the stress was projected onto me and piled up on my shoulders. I felt heavy and heaved it all to my room where I sat by myself for a moment and did a more relaxing yoga session.

I came back to the area inhabited by these stressed individuals and with a calm state of mind and pure thoughts I felt a new sense of awareness for the situation.

I realized that I shouldn’t necessarily run and hide completely when the people around me are intensely stressed and irritable. If anything, they need someone there to help relieve their stress. Even if that means sitting by someone and listening to them vent for an hour or so. If I have the ability to empty out my cup when it is overfilled with anguish and feelings by other people and people that need me might not be able to do so as easily, then I can spare some time and be a sponge to soak up some of their stress and negative feelings.

When I feel overfilled I can escape for a moment and do yoga to clear my mind and I am so happy again and feel even more happy that I could be there for someone. Even if it seems like such a small thing.

When I try to help people these days, my determination is in overdrive and I toss my own feeling aside for a moment so I can be there for someone as much as I can be. I try to understand the underlying anxiety someone may have and go about ways of making their load a little bit lighter for them if I can.

So, it may be quite easy to run away from a person that is troubled and may be making you anxious or angry, but it’s more of a challenge to stay and find out why they are feeling the way they are and try not to get wound up yourself.

If you need a moment to step away when things like, “oh my gosh! that made me so angry! I can’t believe they said/did that!” begin to cycle through your mind, then walk away.

But don’t abandon anyone in need.

Time for some nighttime yoga! Haha!

Yes, I am addicted.

Namaste and much love!

❤ Kimlee

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Bends, Flexes, Struggles… ah… Moksha!

 

We are born into this world as limitless beings.

Depending on where we are born and who our parents may be, we are raised with the values and ethics of our environment and traditions passed down.

Boundaries are set upon us by our mentors and teachers.

We are told we what can and cannot do and this is the way of life for us as we reach for puberty and independence.

Around age eighteen we are slowly set free of our own accord and begin the process of discovering life with the tools of thought that we’ve been given.

For years, I have been learning lesson by lesson and removing the layers of conditioning imposed on me from birth.

I have always questioned society and it’s standards of being and have yearned for my own freedom to be me completely and openly.

I’ve always pushed the envelope and wondered wherever I could.

Now that I’ve been on my latest journey of self-discovery and self-love I am learning more than ever at a rapid pace!

Taking up new skills has led me to Yoga and Yoga is leading me down a new rabbit hole into myself.

My self.

In a struggle to remain humble and avoid egotistical self-love, all these years I’ve been keeping my self from… myself.

It’s okay, though.

I wouldn’t have wanted to live any other life up to this moment and all my experimental experiences and curious curiosities have not been for nothing.

I regret nothing at this point. All due to my consistent passion for adventure and discovery.

I leap when I get the urge and no matter what happens, I learn the lessons needed to be the person I strive to be.

Rather than gathering the things I used to think I was lacking…

I am learning to strip away all of the things that I am not.

How liberating! 😀

To become my true self is merely to uncover it from the dusts of time and the layers of self-imposed desires and nonsense.

I am under there somewhere.

Laughing at myself.

Laughing at the attempts to create myself out of things that aren’t me at all!

Laughing as If I were playing a game of hide and seek,

and waiting to be discovered… by myself.

PEEK-A-BOO!

I cannot express what joy I’ve found in here. In my self liberation.

Or as they call it in Yoga, “Moksha”. (Which literally means “release”.)

Every Asana that I fold my body into tests the limits of my flexibility. This is an amazing way to see what boundaries I have! As for my body, I may feel my muscles tense and be unable to push myself into such a bend. This does not make me want to give up, but helps me to realize the areas in which I must focus on and work more diligently on.

If it were more easy,

say, I were able to flex into a pose with no feelings of pain or struggle, I wouldn’t even want to continue. I would try and find something harder and harder until I felt more limitations.

I believe that we as human beings create our own walls and boundaries because it is a test for us. To see if we give up or strive to break them down.

To break free and breathe in the goodness.

To have that moment to relish in our capabilities before we seek out another struggle that challenges us!

Yes…

What an amazing time to be where/who/what I am and acknowledge it., before I press on.

Namaste & Much Love!

~Kimlee

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This Society’s Female

 

 

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You are born into a world where your genitalia is a deciding factor on what colors your clothing will be for the next few years.

Society weighs it’s heavy opinions onto you through everyone you come into contact with and the environment that you reside in. 

Advertisements try to convince you that you are lacking in many ways. You can’t be beautiful without their products. Nobody will be interested in you without their help. And when someone makes you unhappy, you need merely to buy something to pick you back up. The commercials prove it to you with their dialogues. 

That family is so happy now that they have that minivan and their Eggos. 

Did you see that magazine in the grocery store while we were buying food? It had girl in the title. People like me must read it and get all the latest tips on how to be the best at what we should be. If I read it, I can fit in and discuss what a girl should be like with other girls I come across. A subscription is cheaper and comes directly to the house. 

You’re hooked for years.

Until the age comes where you grow out of being a girl and choose the older version on the magazine. 

It tells you what a female in this society should look like. Should act like. What they should buy. What they should like. It tries to define us. As we are trying to define ourselves.

This constant barrage of advertisements immersed in our awareness eats away at us without our knowing. It disperses the idea of lack all throughout our subconscious until we become riddled with holes. 

We feel empty and seek a lover to fill the empty space. 

I need to be pretty to attract a man. So, I buy all the latest makeup, lotions, shampoos, conditioners, body washes, hairsprays, nail polishes, etc. 

I need to smell like these fancy perfumes I saw in the magazines.

I need to wear clothes that attract guys to my figure and get them to find me desirable.

On and on and on…

We’re told by our surroundings that we need all of these things to fill these empty spaces in our hearts… Empty spaces in our minds created by the capitalist society that “just wants to help”. We’ll never be satisfied because if we were, then our need for new things would vanish and the companies would have to begin creating things that weren’t worthless. 

It doesn’t seem that bad.

But when you don’t realize that you’ve been conditioned to feel like you are and will always be lacking, you’re stuck in a never ending cycle of a low self esteem. A lack of self worth.

And this is how you breed women that stay in abusive relationships. Women that succumb to the numbing effect of drug addictions. Women who feel like they can never be happy on their own without being in a relationship. And when they are in a relationship, no matter how amazing it is, they still feel empty and think something is lacking. 

Their expectations are never met because they have expectations in the first place. Not to mention, expectations that are customized according to what society deems reasonable.

How sad is this?

So many women today ambiguously trapped in a very negative way of thinking, acting, and perceiving. 

And these are the same women that give birth and raise the next generations to come.

We need to promote questioning. Open minds. Open thought. Diversity.

We need to realize that fulfillment comes only from within and that you, yourself are the only person with control of this. Abundance is not something that is to be gained. Abundance is something to be realized. This world is full of abundance and love and beauty.

It has always and will always reside in the individual’s heart and only needs to be tapped into. 

Women need to practice self-love. 

It is possible to be happy and free. 

You don’t need someone else to make you happy. 

Other people may bring out the happiness in you at times, but they are not providing you with something that you are or have been lacking. 

Happiness is a choice, perspective, and a state of mind.

Forget everything you’ve been shown.

Forget everything you’ve been told.

Just be you.

You know, that girl underneath all of the layers of projection and conditioning…?

The girl that enjoys what she enjoys and is appreciative with the body, soul, and mind she’s been given. Think about everything that you love about yourself that no one else has. Personality-wise or physical. Think of all the challenges you’ve overcome. Think of your best friends and best memories. Think of your most cherished family members and your best experiences. 

Now, really…

Would you rather be anyone else?

 

You’re so unique and beautiful.

Just enjoy it and let yourself blossom.

Stop doing things to impress anyone else but that amazing internal girl that wants to be let out. Don’t let her suffocate inside of you.

Just fucking be.

 

❤ Kimlee

 

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New Beginnings!

So, this is what I am up to:

 

I’m about to move back to Georgia from Antioch, Illinois.

I’ve been teaching myself sign language.

I’ve begun to exercise on a regular basis and am about to get into Yoga for many many reasons.(Physical, spiritual, etc.)

I’m going to work on my foreign languages.

I’ll be going back to being mostly vegetarian, then full vegetarian again. (Meat is starting to gross me out for some reason…)

Eeo is starting to coo and goo goo gaa gaa like CRAZY! (I think I talk to her so much that now she just goes on and on…!) She’s about to be four months old. 🙂

I’m going to buy a car when I get back to Georgia even though I said I’d never buy one again after mine got totalled. 

I’ve gone into serious mode with my art. 😀

I plan on getting a job or two and saving up to transition a move back to Atlanta where I can attempt to go back to school.

These are just the blueprints, subject to change and I’m malleable. 

Never can tell what opportunities may present themselves, you know? 😀

I need to fill my life with lots of new and exciting things to keep me grounded in one place since I won’t be travelling like crazy like I have been. I’m excited and can already feel so much energy in this new life. This year is all about becoming completely independent and focusing on becoming the best version of me that is possible. 

You know in the movie, “Yes, man” how he gets into all these news things and they all come up later in life and he gets to use his new skills and knowledge? Well, I plan on getting into as many new useful and exciting skills that I can manage. (And then some. ;P)

 

So, expect me.

Much love and peace,

❤ Kimlee

 

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Stripping the Layers, Unfolding Time

I’ve spent so much time seeking the world outside of me.

It’s been one hell of an adventure and I have loved every minute of it. 

I can look back and experience any moment I choose to and feel the warmth as if recalling a sunny day spent lying in the light cast through a wide window. Warm carpet on my skin. Heat baking my body. Like swimming in a pile of warm laundry right out of the dryer. 

I can recall at any moment, a seemingly negative event that caused me much pain at the time. I probe it under a microscope and dissect every aspect and purpose for its existence. I can see the lesson and be thankful for what I’ve learned from it. I can share it with others and explain how their problems can be overcome and studied as well. 

The past is passed. 

 

In the present moment, I type, pause, think, type, listen, smile…

 

The future is unwritten, but considered. Often enough, I daydream and fantasize the possible outcomes and do not limit myself to other’s concepts of reality and society’s expectations. Worry creeps in and I bat it away with my wings of hope and spiritual light. I ponder this new self. The one under the layers of time. Like blankets, I get too hot under them and strip down to the core of me. I. Which is really all of existence. We. Us. Entirety.

 

Before, when I sought the world beyond me…

I was creating a world around me out of the perception that I was a separate being. I looked for love from an outside source. Someone that had something I was missing and couldn’t gain on my own. This is exactly what made me always feel empty. I could never be fulfilled if I thought an outside source held what I lacked. I was never lacking in the first place, but I lived in my own world where I believed that to be so because I was manifesting it before me.

 For the first time ever, when I began to look inward, I started to seek myself. 

My true self.

 

I’ve found some infinite source of light and energy and I’ve been following it, as the world evolves around me, changing along with my perception. As I seek, which quantum physics says we always find exactly what we are looking for, I’m finding more than I could have ever known looking at things in the old light of my being. 

I’m finding that I am not me at all.

At least, not what I had perceived myself to be.

Not the shell of consolidated cells and muscle tissue that walks about on a physical plane questioning why and what for…

Something different. This body is just a tool to maneuver around in this state of existence for the time being. A body made of star dust just like everything else. But the spirit residing within is everything. Consciousness experiencing consciousness. 

Each set of eyes is a different angle.

A different perspective.

The more people that become enlightened and join the path, the more intense the light grows. The more brilliant the energy becomes. Evolution has begun. 

It began long ago and quite possibly has always been.

Every moment has come from inspiration from the past from somewhere. 

Every moment inspires the next through the future that become the past and so on.

Every moment is now.

This is where we need to exist.

This is where I will practice living, being, existing…

Here.

Now.

Forever and infinitely, we are all capable of the evolution of ourselves. 

Don’t just look inward. 

Seek the truth of yourself individually and you will automatically be paving the way of your own personal path to it all. 

 

I’ve only just come to a new light and layer of existence today.

I reflect on what led me here, momentarily…

I inhale…

Exhale…

I am excited for the new future with my new awareness and perception…

I inhale…

Exhale…

I go in and out of thought, but always come back to the source of being.

 

It has begun…

 

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My First Visit to Japan (Part 4)

(Wednesday, ‎January ‎14, ‎2009, ‏‎10:00:10 PM): Looking out of the window at the building my sister was teaching English in. I got to meet her students and we exchanged questions. 😀Image

(Wednesday, ‎January ‎14, ‎2009, ‏‎10:02:56 PM): Art inside the building. 😀Image

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(Wednesday, ‎January ‎14, ‎2009, ‏‎10:20:34 PM): We ate at a tiny little place and I tried to capture how small it was. Image

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(Had to order Ramen. Hai!)Image

My sister and I went to Shibuya, Tokyo to hang out with Donovan Frankenreiter and his band. (His band members used to have their own band and play at her old workplace in Jacksonville, FL.! They’re some awesomely fun dudes!)

(Thursday, ‎January ‎15, ‎2009, ‏‎3:53:06 AM)Image

(Thursday, ‎January ‎15, ‎2009, ‏‎3:53:40 AM)Image

(Thursday, ‎January ‎15, ‎2009, ‏‎3:54:00 AM)Image

(Thursday, ‎January ‎15, ‎2009, ‏‎3:56:06 AM)Image

Cool! A Karaoke & Internet Cafe.Image

(Thursday, ‎January ‎15, ‎2009, ‏‎4:12:18 AM): We ate and grabbed some drinks at a nice place before the show.Image

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Here’s a video I put together of moments captured on my old cellphone:

I drank a good bit of the various alcoholic beverages in their cooler backstage. It was so fun meeting my sister’s friends!Image

(Thursday, ‎January ‎15, ‎2009, ‏‎7:03:30 AM): Great light show, too!Image

(As soon as Donovan stepped offstage and opened the door to the backstage, his wife handed him his two sleepy children. I had to snap the behind the scenes photo to capture the moment. It was so sweet! 🙂 I think they went straight to the hotel after that while the rest of the band, Lisa, and I went out to a fancy restaurant nearby to eat, drink, and be merry!PIC-1231

(After tons of food and lots of drinks, Lisa and I realized that we had only five minutes to catch the last train back to her home. We ran through Tokyo drunk and somehow barely made it! I have no idea how we figured out the ticket computers so fast…)l (6)

(HI! From the Ramen museum.)l (7)

(Here I am, waiting for some delicious salted pork kebabs)l (8)

(That’s all for now…)

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(I hope it made you smile!) 🙂

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❤ Kimlee

My First Visit to Japan (Part 3)

 

 

So, we went Ice-Skating! I was 23, and it was the first time I’d ever ice skated and it was in Japan. It was amazing! Just like rollerblading for me, which I used to love and be great at. 

 

(Thursday, ‎January ‎08, ‎2009, ‏‎4:26:56 AM): Image

 

(This picture glitched on my phone at the bottom, but it still tells the story. 😉Image

 

 

Wheeeee!

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(Thursday, ‎January ‎08, ‎2009, ‏‎4:32:40 AM)Image

 

(Monday, ‎January ‎12, ‎2009, ‏‎9:30:20 AM): Chu-hi’s taste like Sprite, but will get you verrry drrrunk! Trust me.Image

 

(Monday, ‎January ‎12, ‎2009, ‏‎11:38:18 PM): The next day, we went to Kamakura to see the Daibutsu. ❤ We took the trains to get there. 🙂Image(Tuesday, ‎January ‎13, ‎2009, ‏‎12:04:28 AM): Drunk off of Chu-Hi’s the night before… I let Lisa dye my hair. Image

 

(It was really crazy. lol)Image

 

(Tuesday, ‎January ‎13, ‎2009, ‏‎12:34:52 AM): It’s a Sunny Day in Kamakura! 😀Image

 

(Tuesday, ‎January ‎13, ‎2009, ‏‎12:35:22 AM)Image

 

(Tuesday, ‎January ‎13, ‎2009, ‏‎12:36:26 AM)Image

 

(Tuesday, ‎January ‎13, ‎2009, ‏‎12:36:50 AM): They know how to make you hungry!Image

 

(Tuesday, ‎January ‎13, ‎2009, ‏‎12:40:30 AM): We stopped in at a tiny Ramen shop.Image

 

(Tuesday, ‎January ‎13, ‎2009, ‏‎12:39:42 AM): Mmm!Image

 

(Tuesday, ‎January ‎13, ‎2009, ‏‎12:47:06 AM): Mmm… it’s so much better than the menu picture!Image

 

(Tuesday, ‎January ‎13, ‎2009, ‏‎1:17:52 AM)Image

 

(Tuesday, ‎January ‎13, ‎2009, ‏‎1:20:20 AM): I’m so glad Lisa took me to see the Great Buddha!Image

 

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(Happy!!!!!)Image

 

(Tuesday, ‎January ‎13, ‎2009, ‏‎2:26:40 AM): A store close by was fun to explore!Image

 

(This is obviously.the place where ninjas shop. Haha!)Image

 

(Awesome Cloud figurine… Not For Sale. :P)Image

 

(Awesome Berserk figurine… Not For Sale. :P)Image

 

(Tuesday, ‎January ‎13, ‎2009, ‏‎2:35:28 AM)Image

(Tuesday, ‎January ‎13, ‎2009, ‏‎2:46:36 AM)Image

 

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(Tuesday, ‎January ‎13, ‎2009, ‏‎2:57:04 AM) I love riding the trains!Image

 

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(They have seats reserved for mothers with babies, pregnant women, old people, and the handicapped.)Image

We got to go on the Navy ship that Jason worked on. I started feeling sea sick soon, though.Image

 

(Tuesday, ‎January ‎13, ‎2009, ‏‎5:27:48 AM): This mini statue of a geisha getting tattooed was pretty amazing. 🙂Image

 

(To Be Continued…)